By jetset willy
In an age of staggering technological advancement and environmental awareness, one would think humanity might finally learn how to wipe its ass clean—literally and figuratively. Yet, recent studies suggest we’re not even safe in our most private moments. Yes, toilet paper—the humble square that ends every meal—is now on the growing list of everyday products contaminated by PFAS, the so-called “forever chemicals.”
What Are PFAS?
Per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS) are a family of synthetic chemicals used to make products resistant to water, oil, heat, and stains. Think non-stick pans, fast-food wrappers, waterproof jackets—and now, alarmingly, toilet paper.
They don’t break down easily in nature, earning them the nickname forever chemicals. Once they’re in your bloodstream, they’re there to stay for a very long time. Linked to cancer, liver damage, immune disruption, and reproductive issues, PFAS are the invisible threat in everything from raincoats to your popcorn bag. And now, possibly, your bathroom.
The New Discovery
A 2023 study published in Environmental Science & Technology Letters discovered measurable levels of PFAS in toilet paper samples collected globally. Researchers found that both recycled and virgin pulp-based papers carried traces of these persistent chemicals. The chemicals enter the supply chain through industrial additives or contamination during recycling. Then, they swirl down your toilet and out into the water systems, contributing to widespread PFAS pollution.
It’s ironic: we flush away our waste hoping it disappears, yet the very paper meant to assist in that ritual may be adding to a different kind of long-term pollution. It’s like cleaning your house with a dirty mop—and then dumping the mop water into the reservoir.
Round the Bend, But the Shit Stays on Top
As the world confronts climate change, mass extinction, and resource depletion, we find ourselves neck-deep in a different kind of mess. Symbolically and literally, the shit stays on top. Our civilization has mastered the art of spinning the bowl—economically, technologically, politically—but we’ve failed to deal with the sludge floating in the center: unchecked pollution, consumer ignorance, and industrial apathy.
We talk of colonizing Mars while leaching poison into our rivers through something as mundane as toilet paper. It’s a brutal metaphor—one that encapsulates the paradox of modern life. We go round the bend with progress, yet somehow, the most basic crap keeps surfacing.
What Can Be Done?
- Consumer Awareness: Look for PFAS-free certifications (though they’re not yet widespread for toilet paper). Pressure brands to disclose their chemical use.
- Regulation: Governments must enforce stricter regulations on PFAS in all consumer goods—not just food packaging or cosmetics.
- Wastewater Monitoring: As toilet paper enters wastewater treatment plants, the chemicals can pass into the environment. Treatment processes must evolve to capture and neutralize PFAS effectively.
- Corporate Accountability: Paper manufacturers need to assess their supply chains and eliminate PFAS at the source.
Final Wipe
Toilet paper isn’t just the butt of a joke—it’s a touchstone of environmental health. This isn’t just about a few micrograms of chemical on some tissue; it’s a wake-up call about how deeply entangled pollution is with our everyday comforts. The fact that even toilet paper carries the mark of industrial excess tells us we haven’t just lost the plot—we’ve flushed it.
So yes, the world may be going round the bend. But until we address the toxic crap floating at the top—both literally and metaphorically—we’ll keep circling the drain, wondering why it still stinks.